Most of my clients struggle around the holidays. There’s the stress of family gatherings, the grief of another year gone by with goals unmet, or the stark early darkness that makes people prone to hibernation.
I find that grief is a large part of why so many people struggle around this time of year. Grief is quite broad… it can be experienced around any sort of loss. Loss of relationship, loss of loved ones, or perhaps a sense of loss around the possibility of a functional family system. Grief is complicated and hard to describe using only a few words. It carries a sense of sadness and heaviness with a large side of disappointment, topped with some vague sense of regret.
So… how do we cope?
- Be kind to yourself
Yes I know, how cliche therapist of me. JuSt PrAcTiCe SeLf-CaRe. But seriously… self-kindness and self-care are potent antidotes to many ails. Think about what self-care means to you. Is it more alone time? Is it not going to a certain relative’s house? Is it taking your dog for a walk? Is it having a good cry? Do what makes sense to you that helps you have a some tenderness towards yourself and your struggles.
- I’m serious about being kind to yourself
The holidays can be hard. Really, really hard. So I really think you should be gracious to yourself during this time.
- Keep some rituals and routines
I don’t think it’s realistic to rigidly maintain a schedule during the holidays, but give yourself some touch points to look forward to. Read for 20 minutes before bed. Have breakfast at the same time every day. Meditate at noon. Give yourself some sense of grounding by keeping routines in check.
- Remember the universality of holiday challenges
Remember that there are many people out there who struggle around the holidays for many different reasons. Know you are not the only one. You’re situation may be unique, but the gravity of hardship is not. That is a universal, human experience.
Be bold this holiday season. Take care of yourselves and each other this holiday season.
Purple Finch Counseling PLLC 